5 more minutes!

Remember begging your mom for just a few minutes longer of sweet slumber before you ran out the door for school? I feel like that's what I'm doing with this summer, and actually, this season in my life.

Preston turned 4 yesterday, CeCe turns 2 in just three short weeks, preschool starts after labor day, and I have less than 1 month left of Yoga Teacher Training. After a much-needed summer blogging break, I am trying to eek out the last five minutes of warm temperatures and wearing white shoes.

Feeling a bit like I'm lost in savasana at the end of a practice, rather than think ahead to when the teacher will pull me back, or let my heart feel heavy at the end of the summer, I want to be fully present and experience each moment- feeling gratitude for life exactly as it is.

Solstice Yoga in Times Square

Over 8500 people gathered to practice throughout the day on June 21st in Times Square. Giving thanks to the sun for providing us with energy and light. What an inspiring photo!

Tomato Cream Chicken Pasta

Every Thursday night, while I'm at teacher training and Kevin plays superparent, I try to have something ready for him to feed the kids. Often, the crockpot comes into play, as it did last night. However, what I makes isn't always as good as what they had last night. Super easy, somewhat healthy, and the littles loved it!

Here's what you need:
2-3 large chicken breasts. Boneless/skinless.
1/2 cup chicken broth
Chopped garlic
Green Pepper
Onion
Salt
Pepper
1 can basil and oregano diced tomatoes
1/4 cup cream cheese with herbs and chives
1/4 cup cream


Around 9:30 or so, I put the chicken in the crock pot, poured chicken broth over it, added garlic, salt, and pepper, about half a green pepper, cut into 1 inch pieces, and sliced up about 1/2 a white onion. I let that cook over low heat for 6 or 7 hrs, then just before I jetted out the door to YTT, I shredded the chicken and dumped in the tomatoes, cream and cream cheese.

Kevin served it about 90 minutes later over pasta and the kids DEVOURED it. I had a couple bites when I got home (at 11:15- oy) and I have to say- it was pretty delish. Actually, it was so good, I would even entertain with it. Enjoy!

Love.

Love is such a pretty word. It rhymes with dove, creates images of peace and happiness in our mind's eye, and is the main lyric in dozens of songs. Ok, millions of songs. Love is both over and under celebrated, depending on who you ask. It's such an incredibly powerful emotion, and can make us humans do powerful things. I believe that when we focus on what we love, we are inspired to be better, do better and bring about better things for others.

I read a quote on Twitter today that spured this blog post and thought I'd share few of the things I love. I turned 32 (gasp!) this past weekend and figure it's good to be on the safe side and over-celebrate love during this annual solar return. Besides, my kids are both asleep, and I just brewed a new pot of coffee, so I figured I'd get caught up on blogging. Feel free to add yours, or better yet, start your own list. :)

My kids and my husband to the core of my soul. The love they return to me is so complete and natural and real.

I love our home, it's energy, the life we live and the memories we create here.

I love my yoga practice for how personal and tailored it is to me and my needs during each practice. I love the thought of helping others find their own practice in the same way, which is why I'm going through YTT.

I love my girlfriends- each for their own personalities and gifts. I feel incredibly blessed and lucky to have a network of a dozen or so women who I can share good times and bad with.

I love candles and I love burning them for no special reason throughout the day.

I love to cook for others. There's something about preparing nutrition for people - such a simple form of showing care and I appreciate the simplicity of ceremony in breaking bread with a group. The same goes for wine and dessert. :)

I love the feeling after a good physical workout.

I love my flower gardens. The science and cooperation of the soil, sun and water that sustains them.

I love my community. The architecture of the homes, the enormous trees that line our streets, the park and golf course a few blocks away, the proximity to downtown, the coffee shops and restaurants, the neighbors, and the rich history and character of the area.

I love my extended family. My parents, step parents, in laws, siblings, grandparents, and so on... Each of these people have at one time or another impressed upon me their special stamp on life. They've played a role in helping me see things as they are, or will play a role doing the same for my children. I'm thankful for their presence.

Ok, between lots of interruptions, several phone calls, making a dinner for friends who just had a baby and downing several cups of said coffee, nap time is over and I am out of blogging time. My list feels pretty incomplete, so rest assured I'll be mentally adding to it the rest of the day.

Wishing love to you and all of humanity....

Peace & Power in Pranayama

In Teacher Training, we are currently talking in-depth about pranayama, or breath work. Simply put, Pranayama is the practice of consciously controlling our often hurried, shallow, or taken for granted breath. It's necessary for Prana, vital life force, fights disease, brings freshly oxygenated air to our organs, and clears our bodies of some seriously nasty toxins. Our homework assignment for this week was to develop a breathing pattern practice consisting of an inhale, pause, exhale, pause, determine whether it promotes Langhana or Brahmana, and then clearly explain and lead it for our class.

At first glance, I found myself to be a fan of a *very slight* pause between my inhale and exhale. Just as in life, I'm a bit of a forcer and don't like to wait. I don't sit well. Chronic monkey mind. Meditation is a challenge for me, and so it goes with pranayama. I have to wonder, if I'm not either inhaling or exhaling, what am I doing? What's my goal? Where are we going with this? Isn't time wasting? Perhaps that's exactly the point.

The best pattern (for me) that I've found to be helpful- especially just before bed- is one that begins with an 8 count inhale, 2 count pause, 8 count exhale, 2 count pause. Do it with me: Inhale for 8, just be for 2, exhale for 8, just be for 2. What happens during that place where we can just be? That brief moment where we're neither inhaling, nor exhaling, where nothing at all is expected of us, where we can journey deeply inside to find some stillness. What goes through your mind? Does the world just stop? Does time pause with your breath? For me, it kinda does. And while I'm going on a week of practice, I have to admit that it feels simultaneously powerful and peaceful. Bliss like. Almost enough to make me want to add a longer pause. ...Almost.

JUST IN CASE!

Hey, turn off that family radio and listen up! People get ready- Jesus is comin.' In the unlikely event you haven't been online lately- this rapture is all over the internets. And the internets, as we well know, are full of crazies and solid info. You just don't know which is which. So, let's take a look at what is being discussed.

Enjoy this link full of advice from Gawker:"What to do when the raptures doesn't happen."
http://gawker.com/5803950/
Really, "act casual" might be the best advice.

A *personalized* rapture survival kit:
http://www.rapture-survival-kit.com/
A letter to your loved ones will let them know where to find you!

ABC is on board:
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/slideshow/rapture-2011-pop-culture-signs-doomsday-us-13638601

And so is the Centers for Disease Control. Yes, the CDC.
http://emergency.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies_blog.asp


Tonight we are headed to Henrypalooza in case it's our last Friday night out. Ever. And tomorrow, I boldly made plans to meet up with about 10 other gals for a GNO @ Chuck and Birds, our locavore hangout. However, the way I see it is this: the rapture is scheduled for 6pm in every time zone. (Sorry, New Zealand.) So us sinners on EST have about 16 hrs to get right with Jesus if shit goes down. If not, I'm totally whooping it up @ our GNO by making fun of the rapture believers.

What are your rapture plans?

Belated Mother's Day wish...

It isn't easy to find words to express what being a mother to Preston and CeCe means to me. Their smiles, their snuggles, their whiney/needy/clingy times, their smart/independent/ornery times. Their need for me, my need for them, and the beauty that makes up our family. Preston is alert, creative, a thinker, deliberate, and sweet; and CeCe is funny, outgoing, clever, inquisitive, charming, and bright. And "they" got me a gift certificate to Woodhouse for Mother's Day. So thoughtful. ;)

My wish for them is that they are always as carefree as they are today. May they seek to find the joy in life and may they be genuinely surprised at how easy it is to find. I wish for them peace, both in the world and in their hearts. I wish for them to surround themselves with healthy and positive people, to love those they are with and to always give as much as they are able. I want their future to be pure magic- full of possibilities, happiness and love.

A Tisket, A Tasket

Ok, first of all, yesterday I finally replaced my Macbook that CeCe killed a couple of weeks ago. Greetings from behind the keyboard of my new MacBook Pro. This time, I got the triple-extra-supermatic-black tie "accident protection" insurance. Which of course, really only insures that I will never need to use it. As much as one can argue that you really "need" a computer these days, we can safely chalk up another challenge on the Bramacharya front. More on that later...

I have great news: it's MAY DAY! I love this day as it always holds fond memories of celebrating spring with that tradition of leaving baskets full of flowers and treats on neighbor's doorsteps. So this is it- my gardening season commences. Yay for free therapy.

My lovely mother in law and I went up to Amish Country (not far from where I grew up!) last week for our annual flower shopping trip. My favorite greenhouse in the entire universe is located in New Paris, Indiana. Aptly named "Country Garden Greenhouse," this 9-house operation was started by 8 amish sisters less than a decade ago. True story! The girls have turned what was once just a few rows of petunias and perennials into a thriving little business that now has an 800 number. I like to imagine their father being overcome with pride these days as he once probably panicked about the lack of help he'd receive on his farm with 8 daughters and no sons. Now, I've been to a lot of greenhouses in my day, and let me tell you- you've never seen anything like this. Simply gorgeous, healthy, and an enormous variety of annuals, one sole house for perennials, and this magic potion called "duck mulch" that they sell for $2.99 a bag. Duck much is a fine mulch made of peat and well... shit from cleaning out the duck pens at their farm. Slightly gross, but amazing for soil nutrition and keeping the weeds down.

All this to say, I cannot wait to get out and dig. There is just something about that gentle toil of preparing the soil, the smell of the earth, and giving these living things a new home. I usually crank some Bob Marley on my headphones, and definitely sneak in some yoga while gardening. Hunching over in Malasana, I reach, I dig, I grow... thoughts lost in earthy bliss, this is my meditation practice.

Check out some of my loot from this week's trip:

Pick a yama, any yama...

...and "live it fully" for the next 2 weeks. That's our alter assignment. The Yamas, as I mentioned in an earlier post, are a code of behaviors we strive to abide by when interacting with others or our environment. I have to choose one- just one- and truly live it out over the next two weeks, then journal about it on my own and discuss in class how it's manifesting itself in our lives. While they all seem like great choices, I am having a hard time deciding which to choose. I even consulted our good friends the Goettermans last night, and funny as the convo was, let's just say I didn't leave with any clear direction. So, can we take a look at my options and what each one might entail?

AHIMSA - "Non Harming." Well, I consume meat and dairy, so this one is out in the essence of living fully. It would also mean not raising my voice to my kids or husband. Great idea in theory, difficult to practice, especially in the heat of the moment. I am, alas, a yeller. I'M WORKING ON IT, DAMNIT! oops...sorry. However, Ahimsa is a yama that I yearn to integrate more and more into my life. Actually, it's the yama I would like to work on the most. I don't really need to squash that bug; I could put it outside. I could cut back on my meat and dairy consumption, and I absolutely want to be more mindful of my thoughts, words, actions. Are they harmful to me, to others, or could potentially become hurtful to others, are they harmful to the earth, my community, the greater good?

SATYA- "Truthfulness." Look, I am all about being honest, but I have toddlers. Toddlers who believe in the Easter Bunny and Santa Clause, and that bedtime is at 7:30 for our entire family. Sure, believing these things may not be harming them, but by me allowing them to believe those things, I'm not acting within the principle of satya. When someone asks for my "honest" opinion, and I know the answer is not what they want to hear, or could in fact, even be hurtful to them (hello, ahimsa, anyone?) I opt for a vague answer. So if a stranger in the dressing room asks if her shirt is showing too much cleavage, and I mistake her for a waitress at Showgirl II, then do I say so? Likely not. I'll say, "you look remarkable!" Which would, in effect, be the truth.

ASTEYA- "Non Stealing." How many unreturned coffee mugs (Like yours, Katie B!) or borrowed books do I have? What about that pen I accidentally took from the waitress last weekend? And please do not check my iTunes- as admittedly, not every song was exactly "purchased" in a legal manner. Would fully living Asteya these next two weeks mean lots of running around to return things? Yes. Deleting my unpaid for music? Yes, that too. In our discussion, someone brought up even going as far as not checking personal email on company time or calling someone without first asking if they have time to talk then so that you are not "stealing" their time.

APARIGRAHA- "Non-greed." When discussing Aparigraha, our instructor, Dani, who also has toddlers,has mentioned a children's book about a dinosaur that's a bit of a Hoardasaurus. Note to self: get that book, it will do Preston some good. But while I'm pointing fingers at the 3 yr old, I must also look inward. Do I long for more than what I've been given? Am I afraid of letting go or losing something, or that there will be some sort of shortage if I give to others? An example given in our class discussion was, "do I take the last orange in the fruit bowl, or leave it for my partner?" I have to say that of all of these, I'm actually in a good place with this yama. Aparigraha and I are on good terms.

BRAMACHARYA- "Moderation, Contentedness." Holy smokes, this might be the one for me. Moderation! Balance! Non-indulgence! Totally the one I'm leaning towards. This is what I need: No second cookie. No second (ok, 3rd) glass of wine. No second hour of browsing Ballard for outdoor chair cushions and covered porch furniture. I have been guilty of living a "more is more" kind of lifestyle at times and if I'm practicing satya by being honest with myself, I know that living simply, appreciating what we have, acknowledging how much I've been blessed with, and just being in the present moment is the path to true inner peace.

Ok, Bramacharya- bring it.

Forgiveness

Ok, first I have to admit that I am without a computer. My beloved macbook is at the shop. In the meantime, I have spotty internet access with only using our nook for web. Hope to have it repaired by the end of the week, but in the meantime, bear with me!

Every week during the lecture portion of our teacher training, we have what we call "alter." A discussion where we all share something of importance, significance, or meaning in our lives with the group. Our alter for this week is forgiveness. Forgiveness!? Are you kidding me? Where do I begin?? It's interesting that it corresponds with Easter this week, and coincidentally, a movie on PBS and a segment in O Magazine. Clink link above to check out the movie- it's currently waiting for me on my DVR.

As I said before, one of my biggest apprehensions about teacher training was the self discovery, unpacking of baggage, etc... that it requires. However, there's also this pull of the beauty and freedom that lies on the other side of the unpacking. The self actualization, the heart of yoga.

So here I am... slightly frozen with uncertainty of how much I want to share with the group and how much I want to uncover for myself.

As people, we both hurt and become hurt simply through the process of life. There are misgivings, misfortune, misunderstandings, mistakes. And while I really dislike this, I would be remiss not to acknowledge that there is simply an evil force that sometimes exists in the world, a seed planted in some people, and some people who - for whatever reason- commit what some may deem unforgivable acts. Things like 9/11, genocide, corporate greed, war, abuse, hate. But there is also incredible peace and goodness, which is where forgiveness has to come from.

I know this much: forgiveness may not be easy, but the decision to forgive is a good thing. It's how we grow. We clear out old hurt and leave space for more. More love, more peace, more bliss.

We are what we eat...

Last night, I made the best green beans. Ever. (Accompanied by NY Strips on the grill and fresh baked garlic bread.)

Take roughly 1/2 lb of fresh green beans, snap off ends and boil for 3-4 minutes. Meanwhile, melt 1 T butter, 1 T olive oil in pan. Add some chopped onions and garlic, allowing onions to carmelize and garlic to burn. Toss in the beans, and sautee in the onion and garlic. Served sprinkled with kosher salt and fresh ground pepper, then top with some freshly grated parmesan cheese. If you have some sliced or slivered almonds, they'd be delish on top, too!

Speaking of good food..... as I mentioned before, I have been thinking about doing a cleanse. Ridding my body of toxins and gunk *sounds* good in theory, but I am such a food lover that it might prove a bit more difficult in practice. As I was browsing Spoiled Yogi's blog last night, I came across her recent post on whether or not she should do a cleanse. I found the comments incredibly interesting- some said our bodies were made to remove what we don't need, so there's no need to cleanse. (Trust the body has all the tools it needs already- yogic in principle, right?) Others said they felt great, a short cleanse was easy. (Empty yourself, bring the body closer to a natural state. (Also yogic in principle, right?) One mentioned a short, 3-days of fruits, veggies and liquids was the perfect length. We'll see, that may be do-able... But somehow I doubt the butter and oil from the green beans above would be allowed. Click here to check out her post.

Perhaps my biggest pause would be giving up coffee and wine. I pretty much drink 4 liquids: water/coffee/tea/wine. Occasionally, I'll imbibe with some vodka or champagne, but generally, it's just those 4 things. And don't my kids know it. My 3 year old will ask to "cheers with his wine" at dinner. (Don't worry, his wine is milk.) Also, we pass a Starbucks, and he'll ask whether or not "that Starbucks has a drive through." Case-in-point: my 19 month old daughter was checking out some of her options for an Easter dress the other day. When I showed her this one, she exclaimed "COFFEE!!!"

Goodness. It's a tea pot, dear. These kids don't have much confidence that their mama can do a cleanse.

YIOM

Yogis Inspiring Oneness Month

I'm finding out that the yoga blogosphere is both active and united. Case in point: YIOM, or "Yogis Inspiring Oneness Month." A month-long blog fest inspired by blogger Lo, at The Vegan Asana began this amazing idea for yoga bloggers to commit to blogging 3-4 times a week this month about their practice and the practice of yoga as a whole. Here's a link to her blog of the kick off and list of Yoggers (yoga bloggers? catchy? corny? Sounds Swedish? Think on that for me... ) that are participating. I've been devouring the posts and wanted to share in case the 3 of you reading want to do the same. http://theveganasana.com/building-yoga-community-through-blogging/ Enjoy.

This socks.

Sorry, this is not the "before" shot for a Clorox commercial, but rather to ask a simple question: where do they go?

I mean, seriously, folks. WHERE THE HELL DO THEY GO???????

Hello, April, Hello Yoga, Hello Earth, Hello Babies.

First and foremost- I made it through my first session of Yoga Teacher Training last night. There are 12 other yogis and yoginis in my training and so far, they all seem great. There was something really inspiring and fascinating about each individual's story, all at different stages in their personal yoga journey, with different paths that have led us all to the same place. We dove right in with an hour and a half vinyasa, then 2 hr introduction, discussion, lecture, and power point, then ended with another hour and a half class and meditation. I loved it and think I will thoroughly enjoy the training. Can't wait to continue blogging and sharing it.
Here's a little of what our lecture included last night:
The Kleshas are conditioned beliefs and behaviors that keep us bound and separate. Kleshas include Asmita (ego), Raga (want), Dvesa (denial of self truth), and Abhinivesa (fear.)
If you've taken yoga classes, you may be familiar with the terms "Yamas" and "Niyamas." Yamas are our codes of behavior in relationship to others and our environment, while Niyamas are our codes of behavior in relationship to the self.

Teacher training aside, I feel like I am dancing on air. Spring is my favorite season, so I'm quite thankful to send both the lion and the lamb on their merry way. If I haven't mentioned it before, I carry on a total love affair with gardening and am currently planning my annual day trip to Amish Country to get plants with my mother in law.... my MASTER GARDENER mother in law. It's such a treat to share both the trip and the love of gardening with her. I like to think of it as a "gardeners high," but I get so energized this time of year by surveying my garden, remembering what's coming up where, bending down and digging in the soil, smelling the earth unthaw and stretch out of it's sleepy winter state. I am seeing my peonies, sedum, coreopsis, and lots of bulbs coming up. Pure bliss.

And seriously, if I'm ever going to convince my family to check my new blog instead of my old one, I guess I should include pics of the kids. Meet Preston and Cecilia... heart of my heart. You'll see these sweet little faces quite a bit around here.

Here we go...

Tomorrow is the big day. The day I get my carpets professionally cleaned, the day I have a sitter come, the day I start my Yoga Teacher Training. Clearly, the first two things are big and exciting, but the third is big, exciting, and whole new limb of my yoga journey.

I though it might be helpful to list some thoughts and goals going into the training so that I can come back to evaluate 6 months from now.

- I'd like to learn how to lead a sequence without forgetting which side leads, as I always do in my home practice. I've considered always looking at my right foot, since I have a small tatoo on top, (thank you, 19 year old me...)

-When asked on my teacher training application what areas of study I'd like to focus on, I mentioned chakra work. The chakras have always fascinated me, so learning their sanskrit names, meanings, emotional connections, asanas that stimulate and heal each, etc... is important to me.

-Pronounce Bhagavad Gita with confidence, which I hope to do since it's required reading.

-Loosen my hamstrings.

-Consider a cleanse. I said consider... as long as the chocolate chip cookie recipe below is allowed.

-Deepen my understanding of the practice as a physical, spiritual, emotional, mental and holistic approach to wellness, awareness, and being.

So that's it for now, I am sure I'll add and perhaps delete things on this list along the way. You can come back and check in just to keep me honest.

March Maddness

This month has been a whirlwind! Just the last 3 days alone have been enough to do anybody in. Thursday, we celebrated Kevin's 40 under 40 award with the ceremonial dinner, Friday, I attended the school lottery (which, sadly, didn't do Preston any favors...) had the David Romanelli Yoga and Wine workshop Friday night, then the Blue Jacket fundraiser Saturday evening.

This last week in March will be the biggest yet, however. It's officially my first week of my RTY training and I am having all kinds of emotions about starting this adventure. Feeling excited (following through on this goal feels great!), anxious (do I have what it takes to do this?), apprehensive (am i ready for all this self-exploration and awareness? Probably not, but who really is?) and gratitude (thankful 100 times over for a husband willing to take on more than average solo parenting over the next 5 months.) Yeah, lots going on upstairs.

Today, the sun is exploding into a beautiful golden stream through my living room window, but it's *maybe* 35 degrees outside. Needing to build some warmth, Dhanurasana is calling my name.


As a reward for getting my heart pumping, increasing bloodflow, energy and life to the heart chakra, how about a treat? ...Yes? How about Chocolate Chip Cookies made with whole wheat flour. I like this recipe because the whole wheat flour gives them a little more body and toothiness, but they're still soft and gloriously fluffy. Just make them already.
Chocolate Chip Cookies w/ whole wheat flour!

While you are waiting for them to bake, repeat Louise Hay's affirmation of the day to yourself: "I trust the process of life." And I'll do the same.

Happy Om, Happy chocolate-chip-cookie Home.

This is my journey inward. Blogged.

Today, I took the plunge and registered for yoga teacher training, so I figured I’d turn over a new leaf and blog the adventure as I go. RYT 200, Yoga Alliance via Prana School of Yoga and Health here in Fort Wayne.

I’ve been doing yoga for the past 10 years, and realized during my very first class that I was sold. My body and mind were thawing, my heart was open, and I was certain that every being in the world deserved this same feeling. Since that time, my own practice has waxed and waned, but over the past year, I’ve gotten back into a daily habit, and I’m ready to take the next step to deepen my practice by enrolling in this “graduate course” of sorts.

Every Thursday, starting March 31, and ending the first week in September, I will gather with a small group of yoginis and from 5:30 to 10pm, immerse myself in yoga. And I can’t wait.

In the meantime, indulge me as I drone on about my kids, my hubby, restoring our old home, my awesome friends, gardening, food and wine… a little of everything.